Following the Spirit

At BYU Education Week I attended a class called “And I Was Led by the Spirit” by Steven T. Linford, an Institute instructor for BYU. Every time I left this class I was disappointed. Not with the content, but with the fact that it was over. He was so inspiring and knowledgeable and really made me want to immerse myself in the scriptures.

Brother Linford shared a story about President Marion G. Romney. President Romney was worried about his wife’s hearing and spoke with his doctor about it. The doctor instructed President Romney to try a little test when he got home. Sister Romney was doing the dishes in the kitchen and President Romney went into a bedroom and called out her name saying, “Elizabeth, can you hear me?”. There was no reply. He walked closer to the kitchen and said, “Elizabeth, can you hear me?”. Again, no answer. He stepped into the kitchen and standing behind her said, “Elizabeth, can you hear me?”. Elizabeth responded, “For the third time Marion, I can hear you!” I loved this story and as I compared it to receiving revelation, I wondered how often Heavenly Father has been standing near me and asking if I could hear him.

Several years ago I served as the Director of the Springville Family Literacy Centers. I opened the first center in 1996 and within a few years had opened 5 satellite centers in schools throughout Springville. The goal was to help anyone age 5 to 105 improve their reading skills. During this exciting time I was privileged to meet a wonderful array of inspiring people in our community who believed in the importance of reading. One of those people was Dr. Vernon Tipton, a Zoology Professor at BYU who had a deep love for reading. We formed a quick friendship and I looked to him as a type of a mentor. I could call on him for support of any kind. He could answer any question I had with great insight and would guide me in the direction that would help the Literacy Center grow. I truly admired this man as someone who was devoted to the bettering of life for all that he knew.

On a beautiful day in November of 2001 I felt inspired to call Vernon and see how he was. I knew he had been ill and had not spoken with him for some months. As quickly as the thought came into my mind, it flitted carelessly away, not to be thought of again. A few days later, I learned that Vernon had passed away. He died on the day that I had been prompted to call him.

I have shed tears over that day. I have had the proverbially “internal argument” with myself. Why didn’t I follow that prompting? It would have been such an easy thing to do. While I may have not been able to visit with Vernon, I could have been there to help comfort his wife and family. Why didn’t I listen?

One would never accuse me of being a slow learner. I learned a very valuable lesson that day, always follow through on a prompting. Immediately. In Joshua 24:15 we read, “…choose you this day whom ye will serve; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” When we choose to follow a prompting, we are serving the Lord.

Since learning that powerful lesson, I have chosen to follow every prompting. I have found myself randomly calling neighbors and friends just to tell them I was thinking about them. I have stopped by acquaintances homes for no reason other than to share a smile. I have taken the time to visit with an elderly person in the store that seemed to be there just for the socialization. Some would call me crazy….I have heard that before! But, I know that I am following the promptings of the Spirit. I have listened and have acted upon what I have heard.

I would like to challenge everyone to really listen to what the Spirit is saying to you and to act upon that. I know you will be blessed for your efforts.

What a Boost of Encouragement!

I just spent the last few days at BYU Education Week and I can't tell you how many times I thought, "I have got to tell _____ about that!" (you all can fill in the blank with your name!)
This was the first year I have attended but it has been going on since 1971. Over 200 presenters and more than 1000 classes on everything from finances to food storage are available throughout the week. Because of my work schedule I wasn't able to attend the whole time, but I crammed in as much as I could when I wasn't at work.
I don't want to bore some of you light weighted brainiacs with a looooong post (sorry Tui) so I will just share a little at a time.
One of the best classes I went to was "Choosing to be Happily Married" taught by lifecoach Connie Sokol. The title of the class itself is something I wish more people would think about. The actual class itself...amazing! I was so inspired by the way she taught, the way she brought so much of it back to scripture and the way she added a little humor to some not-so-humorous situations.
One of the greatest things she taught was VAC. These are things to remember when conversing with someone.
VAC: Validate, Ask Questions, Closure.

Validate the person you are speaking with by really listening to what they are saying and vocally respond to the situation. Let's say your hubby came home and said, "Honey, I lost my job today." Instead of freaking out and saying..."How are we going to pay the bills? What did you do to make this happen? Or many other like-minded phrases, try this: "I am so sorry hon. Tell me what happened."

Ask questions about the situation: "What did you say after that?" or "Wow. How did you react?"

Closure. End the conversation on the most positive note you can. "I am sorry that happened, but I am sure everything will work out."

It is okay to say everything will work out BECAUSE IT WILL! Remember, in the scriptures it said.... "And it came to pass" NOT "And it came to stay".

She also shared quotes from a lot of books that she has gleaned info on. Here are a few:

The Surrendered Wife.....Laura Doyle
I Don't Have To Make Everything All Better...Gary Lundberg and Joy Lundberg
Gifts From The Sea....Anne Morrow Lindbergh

I have read the book by the Lundberg's, but it was a wonderful reminder. If I recall correctly, the VAC info was something they taught. I am looking forward to reading the others.
Let me know if any of you have read these or are planning on it. It would open up a wonderful discussion!

A Night Out With The Carly's

Brace yourselves American Idol officianados. The Carly Clan will be auditioning this season with their personal rendition of Happy Birthday.




The family gathered for Jim's 36th birthday (He says that is how old he is though there were some that were unbelievers.) and to spend some quality time with him before he leaves to attend PA school at Cornell University in New York. He will be gone for about 22 months. His fam will stay here in Utah and will, of course, be well taken care of by family.

Enjoy some of the pictures from the party, they are much more enjoyable than the singing;)

A Season Lost

I want to start out by saying....whew! I survived. Actually, it wasn't really as bad as that sounds but I fully embrace the fact that I got my butt kicked last week! I offered to babysit Jim and Danielle's kids (Whitney, age 11; Elijah, age 8; Porter, age 6 and Kate age 2 1/2)while they went with the youth in their Stake to a Pioneer Trek. While they pulled handcarts more than 25 miles, slept outside, cooked over a fire, endured the heat and bugs and dealt with hundreds of other people's kids, I hung out with their 4 children. The average person may think I got the better end of the deal. Yes, I believe I did, but I am a little tempted to think I may be wrong!

I picked up the kids after work on Wednesday and brought them to my house. I asked Jim and Danielle to leave the van for me so I didn't have to move car seats and so that I would have room to take more children with me (crazy, I know!). I remember a time in my life that I wouldn't have driven a mini-van if my life depended on it. In fact, I may have even uttered snide remarks about those who "had so many kids" that a van was required just to transport the gang. Please close your eyes and visualize my foot entering my mouth. It was actually quite nice! Plenty of room. Everyone had their own 'space'. It didn't take long for me to quit worrying about any of my friends seeing me in that van. Something of note here....I used to own a van, I drove it proudly and I liked it, so my aversion to driving their van was completely uncalled for.They were sweet enough to fill it up for me and have everything you could ever need while tending their kids, packed in the back. Really, it was a flashback to a scene of what used to be my life.

On the way home, I asked Eli what sounded good for lunch. He said, "Well......generally, we eat macaroni and cheese with hot dogs." Easy enough. "How about dinner, what kinds of things do you like for dinner?" I asked. "We like ramen noodles." He said. I was starting to see a pattern here but decided to check it out anyway.... "How about breakfast?" Without hesitation Eli responded, "Pop Tarts." I tried, unsuccessfully, to quell my laughter.

We pulled into the driveway at home and the kids were so excited to be here. They were so great about helping me unload the van and get things put into the rooms they would occupy. I started their lunch (mac and cheese with hot dogs, homemade mac and cheese!) and tried to keep my eye on them, a task that proved to be much more difficult than I remember! The kids loved the homemade mac and cheese and I was really glad I had made a HUGE amount that could be reheated the next day. We spent the rest of the day trying to find something for them to do. I was starting to think that maybe we should have stayed at their house where their toys and friends were. I was glad to find a stash of toys that I had stored away a long time ago and it seemed to keep them entertained. The Wii was also a lifesaver!

The kids were really looking forward to Thursday as I had planned to take them to the local pool. I had told one of my friends what my plans were and she said, "You're going to take 4 kids to the pool?" I said, "No. I am taking 6 kids to the pool." (remember: van....extra room...you get the idea) I had also invited Rob and Karen's two youngest boys, Tanner (12) and Wyatt (8). We had an absolute blast! Don't get me wrong.....I think I was as tired as the kids were after it was all over, maybe even more! I love the pictures we got at the pool. Hope you all enjoy them too.

Friday we just kind of hung out, took walks, played games, read books, cooked, ate, played some more. Who says stay-at-home moms have it easy? We all crawled in bed around 9:30 PM. Crawled is not an over-exaggeration. You may be thinking, where was Kirk in all of this? Hmmmm.......let's see.....He went motorcycle riding all day Thursday and seemed to keep REALLY busy on Friday. But he totally took it head on Saturday morning. I had another parade and had to be out of the house at 6:00 AM. I didn't get back until almost noon. The kids were alive and well and even quite happy that they had Uncle Kirk all to themselves! I fed the kids and took them to their home to await their parents arrival. It wasn't long before hugs and kisses and squeals of happiness were filling the home as Jim and Danielle returned. I visited for a few minutes and went home. I was so exhausted that it was really all I could do to crawl in bed and go to sleep!

Reflecting on the last few days I have come to realize that I have lost something. There was a season in my life, the one where I was engulfed in the care and keeping of my girls, that is gone. I loved that time. I loved the games Dani and Bryn and I would play. I loved being the 'mom Barbie' as we would play for hours in our Barbie Haven. I loved taking my kids to the pool and to the park. I loved reading them stories every night and having them say..."Just one more page Mom!" I loved helping them discover who they were and where they were going in life. I didn't even mind the difficult times when I had to put them in a time out or ban them from speaking to each other because they had treated each other unkindly, only to find them writing apology notes to each other because they couldn't bear not communicating with their sister. What has happened?

Where did the time go? This seems like a cruel trick. It wasn't long ago that my cousin Claire sent me such a great email about motherhood that was printed in the Washington Post. Let me share it with you:

Best friend has child. Her: exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, etc.
Me (no kids): Wow. Sorry.
What'd you do today? Her: Park, play group . . . Okay.
I've done Internet searches, I've talked to parents. I don't get it. What do stay-at-home moms do all day? Please no lists of library, grocery store, dry cleaners . . . I do all those things, too, and I don't do them EVERY DAY. I guess what I'm asking is: What is a typical day and why don't moms have time for a call or e-mail? I work and am away from home nine hours a day (plus a few late work events) and I manage to get it all done. I'm feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and enjoy -- not a bad thing at all -- but if so, why won't my friend tell me the truth? Is this a peeing contest ("My life is so much harder than yours")? What's the deal? I've got friends with and without kids and all us child-free folks get the same story and have the same questions.
Tacoma, Wash.

Relax and enjoy. You're funny. Or you're lying about having friends with kids. Or you're taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven't personally been in the same room with them. Internet searches? I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some keyboard. To claim you want to understand, while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are that your mom-friends are either lying or competing with you, is disingenuous indeed. So, since it's validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. In list form. When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed,clean, dressed; to keeping them out of harm's way; to answering their coos, cries, questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys, and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared-essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library; to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired or bored, any one of which produces the kind of checkout-line screaming that gets the checkout line shaking its head. It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15. It's constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier. It's constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family and friends, well-meaning and otherwise. It's resisting constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone's long-term expense. It's doing all this while concurrently teaching virtually everything -- language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity. Empathy. Everything. It's also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spent all day, every day, with this brand of joy, and then, when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend, a good friend wouldn't judge you, complain about you to mutual friends, or marvel how much more productively she uses her time. Either make a sincere effort to understand or keep your snit to yourself.

This email really made me think about the season in life I am now in.

Here is what I have decided: AAaahhhhhhhhhh....those were the days! Enjoy every backbreaking, eardrum popping, draggin' your butt out of bed for the third time tonight, food in your hair, minute of it!
Unfortunately it ends much too quickly and all that seems to be left is some wonderfully, giggly memories, too much food left after dinner, too much space in the "just big enough" house and so sad "miss you" tears that you wipe away before anyone notices.

I am now moving into the Sunday Dinner Season of motherhood. I do this with my head held high and tissue close by. I don't mind really. Steven, my son-in-law, says it is his favorite day of the week. (Surely he knows I already like him!) But I do love the way he eats what I make and seems to really enjoy it.

Yep. Sunday Dinner Season of motherhood has begun.
What I wouldn't give for a few more Sunday's with me, the girls and our Barbie Haven!
I speak Ken....and his Jeep!