Most of my treasured experiences with Uncle Roger took place on the phone, by email and snail mail, in my home, in Marfa and midway through this year, in Dallas.
I loved visiting on the phone with him. As soon as he knew it was me he would say, "Well hello sweetheart!" This could make any day, any situation, better immediately. His voice seemed to command respect and attention, no doubt from the many years serving in the military and Border Patrol. I willingly gave him both. Some of the calls had purpose. The others were just to hear his voice, laugh with him and hear the updates of life. He had a way of making me feel calmer in a tense situation just by listening to me.
As my girls got older he was always interested in hearing about who they had their eye on and he was always able to come up with some sort of statement clarifying just why that particular boy was not "the one" for either girl. He would get the girls on the phone, ask them about the current love interest, and proceed to arrange the bits of information in a very unflattering way, giving the girls cause to giggle....and maybe think about the validity of his statement. One such conversation went something like this:
Well, hello young lady!
Hi Uncle Roger.
What color have you got your hair today?
Well, I died it black.
Bryn...you know I like your hair best when it's blonde. It's just so pretty on you.
I know, but I like the black too.
Who are you dating?
Joe* (name is changed to protect the innocent).
What is Joe interested in?
He's in FFA and he is a bullrider.
Does he have a job?
Well, he rides bulls. I think he wants to get sponsors and keep doing that.
Bryn, he is going to be a 40 year old, broken down, bull riding, has been, who can't do anything but collect disability. He's not the one for you.
And he wasn't:)
Uncle Roger happened to be staying with us when Bryn was going to the prom. The group of kids that Bryn and her date were going with decided to meet at our house to take some pictures. About the time the kids were departing, Bryn said goodbye and Uncle Roger stood up and said, "Let's go." Bryn looked at him and then questioningly at me and Kirk. All of the kids just stopped. Uncle Roger said, "Didn't your mom tell you I was here to be your chaperone?" Many sighs of relief were heard when everyone realized it was a joke. He chuckled about that one for years.
He was critical of Dani's dates also but once Steven came along he was unable to come up with a reason why he was not the one. This was a good thing since she married him. Not a phone call went by that he did not inquire about them, their jobs, even their dog.
I was blessed enough to find a wonderful man that met my uncle's expectations. In fact, I believe he may have even exceeded them at times. I watched as he counseled, taught and inspired Kirk in so many aspects of his life. They thoroughly enjoyed each others company. Kirk was the student at the foot of the master when it came to guns and gunsmithing. Many times I would come home to find them on the phone with each other discussing guns. He told Kirk, mostly for my benefit of course, "Never let your collection go stagnant", meaning, keep buying guns.I have tried to use this same thought process when buying shoes;). Kirk would literally spend hours in the gunshop with Uncle Roger learning how to repair just about any firearm. He would be amazed as Uncle Roger could go directly to a drawer, pull a particular screw out of dozens and have the exact one he needed. If a part was not available, he made it out of whatever he had.
Near the end of February 2011 Kirk and I drove out to spend a week with Uncle Roger and Aunt Polly. We try to do this as often as we can and it is a time we look forward to with great anticipation. Kirk would always take a few guns with him that need one thing or another fixed so Uncle Roger could guide and instruct him on what to do. I looked forward to visiting, shopping and general pampering of my sweet Aunt Polly as well as pleasing my Uncle with homemade Italian food. It must be a Carly thing...this love of good food.
This particular trip was one of the best we had ever had. Aunt Polly seemed to be doing so much better physically and we even took an entire day trip driving, site seeing and laughing. On the morning that we had planned to leave, Kirk packed our things in the car and we walked outside with Aunt Polly and Uncle Roger. Kisses and hugs were exchanged...and exchanged again. He took me into a big hug, kissed me on the cheek and told me he loved me. I said, "I love you too, Sir". Sir was my term of endearment for him. He let go of me and said, "You know, it was about this time of year 6 years ago that I said goodbye to my dad for the last time." I punched him on the shoulder and said..."You can't just say something like that as I'm leaving!" He gave a short chuckle and said he was just thinking about it. We waved as we drove out the driveway and onto Russell Street. I started to cry as I told Kirk what he had said. Nothing could have prepared me for the reality of that statement.
2 comments:
What a sweet, sweet man. I was hoping you'd get to the second part of this story. Love you, friend!!!!
This is awesome, mom. Love you so much! And I sure miss him.
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