A Man I Call Sir: Part 2

The last hours of 2011 and my mind has been on him most of the day, if not the entire week. I thought I should finish telling you about him.

Most of my treasured experiences with Uncle Roger took place on the phone, by email and snail mail, in my home, in Marfa and midway through this year, in Dallas.

I loved visiting on the phone with him.  As soon as he knew it was me he would say, "Well hello sweetheart!" This could make any day, any situation, better immediately.  His voice seemed to command respect and attention, no doubt from the many years serving in the military and Border Patrol.  I willingly gave him both.  Some of the calls had purpose. The others were just to hear his voice, laugh with him and hear the updates of life.  He had a way of making me feel calmer in a tense situation just by listening to me.

As my girls got older he was always interested in hearing about who they had their eye on and he was always able to come up with some sort of statement clarifying just why that particular boy was not "the one" for either girl.  He would get the girls on the phone, ask them about the current love interest, and proceed to arrange the bits of information in a very unflattering way, giving the girls cause to giggle....and maybe think about the validity of his statement.  One such conversation went something like this:

Well, hello young lady!
Hi Uncle Roger.
What color have you got your hair today?
Well, I died it black.
Bryn...you know I like your hair best when it's blonde.  It's just so pretty on you.
I know, but I like the black too.
Who are you dating?
Joe* (name is changed to protect the innocent).
What is Joe interested in?
He's in FFA and he is a bullrider.
Does he have a job?
Well, he rides bulls. I think he wants to get sponsors and keep doing that.
Bryn, he is going to be a 40 year old, broken down, bull riding, has been, who can't do anything but collect disability.  He's not the one for you.

And he wasn't:)

Uncle Roger happened to be staying with us when Bryn was going to the prom.  The group of kids that Bryn and her date were going with decided to meet at our house to take some pictures.  About the time the kids were departing, Bryn said goodbye and Uncle Roger stood up and said, "Let's go."  Bryn looked at him and then questioningly at me and Kirk.  All of the kids just stopped.  Uncle Roger said, "Didn't your mom tell you I was here to be your chaperone?"  Many sighs of relief were heard when everyone realized it was a joke. He chuckled about that one for years.

He was critical of Dani's dates also but once Steven came along he was unable to come up with a reason why he was not the one.  This was a good thing since she married him.  Not a phone call went by that he did not inquire about them, their jobs, even their dog.

I was blessed enough to find a wonderful man that met my uncle's expectations.  In fact, I believe he may have even exceeded them at times.  I watched as he counseled, taught and inspired Kirk in so many aspects of his life.  They thoroughly enjoyed each others company. Kirk was the student at the foot of the master when it came to guns and gunsmithing.  Many times I would come home to find them on the phone with each other discussing guns.  He told Kirk, mostly for my benefit of course, "Never let your collection go stagnant", meaning, keep buying guns.I have tried to use this same thought process when buying shoes;).  Kirk would literally spend hours in the gunshop with Uncle Roger learning how to repair just about any firearm.  He would be amazed as Uncle Roger could go directly to a drawer, pull a particular screw out of dozens and have the exact one he needed.  If a part was not available, he made it out of whatever he had.

Near the end of February 2011 Kirk and I drove out to spend a week with Uncle Roger and Aunt Polly.  We try to do this as often as we can and it is a time we look forward to with great anticipation.  Kirk would always take a few guns with him that need one thing or another fixed so Uncle Roger could guide and instruct him on what to do.  I looked forward to visiting, shopping and general pampering of my sweet Aunt Polly as well as pleasing my Uncle with homemade Italian food.  It must be a Carly thing...this love of good food.

This particular trip was one of the best we had ever had.  Aunt Polly seemed to be doing so much better physically and we even took an entire day trip driving, site seeing and laughing.  On the morning that we had planned to leave, Kirk packed our things in the car and we walked outside with Aunt Polly and Uncle Roger.  Kisses and hugs were exchanged...and exchanged again.  He took me into a big hug, kissed me on the cheek and told me he loved me.  I said, "I love you too, Sir".  Sir was my term of endearment for him.  He let go of me and said, "You know, it was about this time of year 6 years ago that I said goodbye to my dad for the last time." I punched him on the shoulder and said..."You can't just say something like that as I'm leaving!"  He gave a short chuckle and said he was just thinking about it.  We waved as we drove out the driveway and onto Russell Street.  I started to cry as I told Kirk what he had said.  Nothing could have prepared me for the reality of that statement.

A Man I Call "Sir"; Part 1

Kirk and I returned last night from his third, and my fifth trip, to Texas this year.  The 21 hours of driving leaves a lot of time for wonderful conversation and pondering for me and for my sweetheart.  So much has transpired this year and I still struggle to put the journey into words. Fortunately, I have somewhat of a cyber-journal here and hope that my words and feelings can be had for good some day by someone who comes across them.

About 42 years ago I met a most amazing man.  His name is Roger Peter Carly. He is the son of Dan and Josephine Carly and the big brother to my father, Dan Carly Jr. I met him at the kitchen table of his parents home, the home I now have the blessed privilege of living in. He is a handsome man with piercing blue eyes...an often talked about family trait.  He was accompanied by his wife; a sweet voiced, Southern belle named Polly.  He referred to me as "Sweetheart". We were immediately connected, he and I.

Over the years we have had countless conversations, on the phone, in person and by email. I have shared ideas, secrets, mistakes, successes and trials with him.  We have laughed, cried and joked with each other.  He has made me laugh, taught me how to be patient, exhibited amazing abilities with animals (especially beagles;)), guns and the English language. He wore his cowboy hat like only a true Texan could.  

This will take some time.....but please, bear with me as I tell you about a man I call Uncle Roger and "Sir".

Roger and Polly Carly live in Marfa, Texas, a small town, in a very large state, about 30 miles North of the border of Mexico.  It boasts a little more that 2000 residents, a plethora of museums, authentic Mexican food and the mysterious Marfa lights. Located on an inconspicuous corner in this cozy town is a 3 story, centenarian home shielded from the desert sun by more than a dozen towering trees.  You will find all manner of vegetation, some indigenous, some transplants protected and prodded to grow by the mistress, covering every inch of the grounds.  Walk anywhere on the property and you will be greeted by four barking beagles, loyal only to their master, announcing your arrival.

Next to the detached garage of their home is a place known throughout the Unites States as "The Gun Shop". Hours are 9-Noon and 3 -6 PM. Business is not conducted from Noon to 3....ever. This protected time is reserved for lunch and an afternoon nap. Visitors and phone calls are only accepted during an absolute emergency. No exceptions. Call or stop by during this time and it will be the ONLY time you will make this mistake.

The Gun Shop is not a large place by any means. It measures roughly 6 feet wide by 20 feet long and is filled with tools, machinery, dust, gun pieces and parts.  The smell of oils, solvents and sweat make your nose tickle a bit but it becomes a pleasantly anticipated smell that makes you feel safe. The cement floor has the usual small cracks of age and a pathway down the center made shiny by the footsteps of a man at work.  Screwdrivers, hammers and files cover the walls in chaotic organization known only to the master of the shop.  There are various posters alerting visitors to the federal laws of purchasing firearms and gun safety. There are old license plates, one in particular is from Pennsylvania with the year 1937. The year and state that Uncle Roger was born.

Help! I Have Fallen Down the Stairs and Can't Stop Laughing!

True Story!  We are on our way to see Uncle Roger and Aunt Polly in Texas and decided to stay at Days Inn in Los Lunas New Mexico.  Many of you will remember that town with great fondness as that is the sacred town that we acquired Buddy in.  We even went to Walmart and took a picture from the parking lot where I first laid my one good eye on him.  Awww.

Back to the stairs...Kirk was in front of me carrying our bags, fortunately, or I would have actually hit the floor instead of the one stair above the floor.  He did comment that while he was glad he could stop me there on the last stair he was a little disappointed that he wasn't actually behind me to watch the whole thing:)

I have gone through this scenario in my mind a million times....what would I do if I fell down the stairs, in a public place, where people were present?  I had decided long ago that I would giggle.  And I did.  A lot!  In fact, still giggling just thinking how funny it must have looked as I tumbled around holding on to the railing with my right arm the whole time.

Lots of bumps and bruises, aches and pains.  Kirk did have me take some ibuprofen asap so that should help along the way.  We did choose to go elsewhere for breakfast since this incident happened right outside the breakfast room and a couple of people came running to help.  We went to Denny's and Kirk lovingly suggested the Grand Slam breakfast as a way of continuing the great start to the day:) He is so thoughtful.....and dang funny!

P.S......I am still giggling as I rub my aching shoulder:)

Contrary to popular belief...I am still here!

Wow!  I just spent over an hour checking up on everyone and what has been happening in their lives on their blog.  What a great way to keep in touch.  I then realized that I have not written anything on this blog for almost FOUR MONTHS!!!  That realization led me to think...do I really have anything of value to say?  What a silly question!  I AM a girl, after all.

So, I thought I would do an update type of post...
here goes...

1. Buddy is still alive.  Yes, that rascal of a dog who has blessed our lives immensely and forced us to shop for new shoes and a couch, still resides, happily I might add, in our home.  I will try to update his blog so definitely check it out www.sitbuddysit.blogspot.com

2. I have changed jobs!  With tears in my eyes and a half-way heavy heart, I left my beloved Parkway Health Center to work with Freedom Home Health and Hospice.  What an amazing team of caregivers!  Still miss my peeps at Parkway but I am totally delighted with the change.  You can check things out on their blog  www.freedomhomehealthandhospice.blogspot.com .  Become a follower of that blog and your name will go into a drawing each month for a prize!  January's drawing is tomorrow and the prize is a $25 Gift Card to Macaroni Grill!  Lots of good info!

3. Kirk is still alive!  Yes, he has continued riding his motorcycles...although the frigid weather has put a bit of a damper on that.  He spends his time working at Orem, working with State Parks and Recreation, hanging out with me and making sure Buddy doesn't get too out of hand.

4. Bryn is still alive!  Yep....she is doing great!  Just turned 21!  She is still doing medical records at Parkway as well as went back to being a nanny for Nate and Claire (this makes her parents and the kids parents very, very happy!) She is also now certified in installing eyelash extension.  Give her a call for an appointment!

Well, there you have it!  The rumors were wrong!

I will try to be a little more diligent.  Let me know how you are all doing!